How many scripts are we following in our heads, in our hearts, in our lives? Scripts that start with, "This is how it's done." "It should look like this."
How does that make you feel?
For a while, I sought other people's HOWs. And, truth, I still do seek other people's wisdom, their insights from walking their roads. But not as a prescription. More as a springboard, an inspiration point for finding what feels like my HOW.
It can be unnerving, shaking off the "SHOULDS." For there is a whole band of brotherhood in following THE WAY, the 5-year plan, the "way we do things." But if it isn't feeling like your YES? If it doesn't fit your path, align with your truth, liberate you to live into how you feel best? The price we pay is high to contort to a plan that doesn't come in our size.
Finding ways that work around the conventions, that improvise & feel more YES than the prescribed way of being? Energizing!
Once I started seeing how many ways I subscribed to the way it's done when it didn't feel right, I started to shrink under the burden of living in someone else's suit of clothes.
And once I started tiptoeing into finding the way that felt like me, I could feel the bloom tickle from my toes up through the top of my noggin. Yep. Noggin'. Because it feels juicy to say noggin'.
A couple quickie examples of finding how I feel right about big choices that come with a lot of SHOULDS.
- Conventional health insurance. Oy. Premiums rise every month as a self-employed person and I don't subscribe to a lot of the medical approaches/the business motivation of our current health care. I prefer to a) live healthily + b) explore native + ancient eastern practices. So I stepped out of health insurance and into a health share. Now, that may not be my final step but it's a step on the way to finding what feels like my health care YES.
- Retirement. I am not a 9-5er with a 401K. So my angst over not having conventional retirement funds in place? Pervasive. But I felt immense relief + flow of energy when I realized my savings/"retirement" needs would be best designed & met by what made sense to me. What does that look like? I automatically set aside 20% of what I earn. I diversify my investments. And I CREATE books, art, retreats, legacies that I hope will earn for me.
I am living into my YES, and taking it one step at a time. Just because something is a SHOULD doesn't mean it doesn't fit me. But it might not. So do I have to follow it? No. We can design what aligns with us.
My self-query that guides my choices: Does it feel whole with me? That's my YES.
Not all of these choices pay off as I might hope. But each brings a deeper learning that gets me closer towards the next step.
I will say this. Be clear on our WHY. Rebellion is not the goal. YES is our quest.
There's always another way to look at anything in our sights. SHOULD is merely a matter of our choosing.
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