Do you remember how you saw yourself as a wee young tot, still discovering the world and you in it? Think back to your fresh tender sprout years of about 4 or 5 years in.
Did you feel great gusto with the outlandish wardrobe combinations you dressed yourself in? Were you unabashedly keen to be in photographs, perhaps with a HUGE smile or making funny faces?
Were you twirling in the backyard and envisioning yourself as a happy person with friends you would go adventuring with? Or perhaps as a multi-talent who effortlessly astounded the world with your creativity? Were you designing a bright future in whatever flavor appealed to you?
Big expressivity. Big joy. Big dreaming.
We see ourselves with such clarity as kids. We believe in our dreams and potential. We see ourselves as bright lights in this world, with lots to contribute and with no shame in expressing ourselves and our uniqueness.
We see our inner selves.
And then too quickly, we begin to dampen down as we absorb “shoulds” & shames from our family, friends and our cultural inputs. Our outward presentation gets judged and we listen to our external “guides” more than our internal guide. We “shouldn’t” draw so much attention to ourselves in how we dress. We are told we will never make it as what we dream ourselves to be. We are not good enough. We realize we have a crooked nose. Or we are taller than most of our classmates. What interests us is so different from what our friends are into that we are ostracized as weird.
So we begin to strive to fit in. To be “good” and “good enough.” To aim for a job title instead of joy in what inspires us. Then once we have some miles behind us, we believe that we shouldn’t look like we’ve lived. Our foreheads and eyes “should” be as smooth as those photos of us when we were 4!
Habituated by societal inputs and marketing unreality, our inner critics see ourselves as flawed and diminished.
But this is not who we are. The truth of us is very much the same as our inner sprout self from decades ago. That light in us then is our timeless truth. It’s still very much with us. But we are challenged in seeing it in ourselves.
Often, we see it in others more readily than we see it in us. Our own inner light can be eclipsed by focus-pullers we see as evidence we are less than we want to be: a grey hair, a new wrinkle, an extra love handle, our less than aspirational bank balance, our tired wardrobe, our routine that no longer inspires.
Does this fit you? Sometimes?
This disconnection from our inner light creates worlds of pain. It can show up as anger, contempt, obsession with superficiality, self-numbing, self-harming, shaming… what we spew on the world is a reflection of how we see ourselves. If we are not enough, then neither is anyone else. And if others seem to defy that, we may resent them for it.
Yes, this exploration could be endless. BUT the essence is the classic hero’s journey:
· We get separated, disconnected, feeling lost
· We go discovering
· We return with new wisdom, a new way of being
As young tots, we began as fully connected to our light, our knowing, our glowing. We embraced curiosity, wonder, mystery, and our internal YES.
When our self-lens becomes distorted, when we have disconnected from our inner truth, inner yes, inner source, inner light, we are in pain. We are not our fullness. We feel lost, fractionalized, fragmented, chaotic, and we see ourselves & life with an energy overlay of scarcity.
But in our journey, and with the support of our tribe who reflect back to us the light we may have stopped seeing in ourselves, we rejoin our whole self. In bridging that gap between seeing ourselves as flawed and seeing ourselves as our unique YES, we reclaim our wholeness.
Our HOMECOMING happens when we consciously shift how we see ourselves. We no longer choose to marginalize ourselves but we STEP IN every day to see ourselves with fresh eyes that focus on our strengths. Our YES, I CAN energy. We OWN our wholeness (which includes all our life lessons & miles that may indeed show up physically). Of course, we may stumble, fall, stray but we see them now as openings to return, rise, refresh with more clarity about our YES, more resolve in our WHY, with refined fire fueling our next step.
Join us as we continue to explore how to live with our Inner Lights shining fully. We are a band of creatives with lifetimes of support, wit & wisdom. Welcome to our Inner Light Tribe! Enter your email on the blog page to stay connected.