Home. I always felt it was a place. An origin. Where I grew up. Where my family was. Where I lay my head & received my mail.
But then, home became less concrete.
After my mom died going "home" felt different. Even though it was to the city of my birth & most of my family lives there, my sense of HOME had shifted. Sure the memories felt luminous, but it also felt to me like one of the colors in the palette was fading.
Listening to the quiet within, I set off on a photographic journey, traveling solo with my camera to 3 eastern European cities to wander & wonder. And largely, my soul was percolating on home. Perhaps if I went to places off my horizon, I might discover my answer.
Those journeys were as much inner journeys as outer. They yielded riches for my photography as well as my soul. (The two for me are interwoven.)
What came to me, far away from everything familiar, was that HOME is within me. I am my home. And I am always home, even when I am drifting.
I run. I'm a runner. I live by it. I defy it. I resist it. I swoon over the centeredness I feel in running. And the occasional mighty-ness:) I find truth in it.
A few weeks ago I had a tweak in my right knee. So I was running, but gingerly. My inclination was to favor my knee, but that created tension in my body, as my left and right sides were in disharmony.
I found the juice not in protecting but in relaxing. Consciously relaxing my hips so each leg carries its weight & not the weight of the other... oddly & yet not surprisingly, my right leg was happy. Each footfall felt sound. I felt HOME within me.
Zenned by the insect symphony humming + buzzing, my aha struck me that HOME is not only within me (& each of us) but HOME is finding & appreciating the beauty in the many steps we take everyday in our process, in our journeys. Not an outcome or a destination. Home is BEING our YES & all the minutiae in our habits, rituals, disciplines that are the mosaic of meaningfulness in our lives & creations.
In KNOWING our HOME, we are better able to return to it when we step off our path. Because that is also part of the process in creating & living & KNOWING what is most fulfilling for us. Constantly shifting, in tune with a rhythm we may not always feel.
Stepping away. Returning.
So we dance. Into wholeness. Home.
I would love to your practices of returning home when you feel like you've stepped away. Email me or share a thought or three in the comments. Would love to connect!
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